How To Be A Fake Friend (A Step By Step Guide)

Hi guys! So today, I’m writing about something a little different. (First time! let’s see how it goes!!) Please do give me feedback if there is anything I should change (first time writing about my actual thoughts and experiences). And fyi: I joke a lot. If I come off as insensitive or something, I promise that was not my intention!

Fake friends aren’t always the villains we see online — the ones who stab you in the back and laugh while you bleed. In real life, they’re harder to spot. Sometimes they’re the sweetest, most supportive people in the room, smiling wide while slowly draining you behind the scenes.

That’s why I’m calling this How To Be A Fake Friend (A Step By Step Guide) Not because I’m teaching you how to master it (please don’t 😭), but because I want to show you the sneaky ways fake friends actually show up in real life. The signs are rarely loud — they’re quiet, casual, easy to miss until it’s too late.

And because I almost never share personal stories, I’m going to drop a few from my own life here (rare footage unlocked guys, trust). Consider it my receipts. Think of this post as a mix between a “how-to” guide for how fake friends would act and a little behind-the-scenes tour of the lessons I’ve learned the hard way.

Step 1: Perfect The Concerned Face

The Move: Look deeply into their eyes. Say the right supportive things. Send a heart emoji. Never follow up.

Real life: “Are you okay? Text me anytime.” Then radio silence when you do text.

Why it hurts: You believe them. You open up. Then you’re left thinking you were dramatic — not the betrayal.

Step 2 — Gaslight with Sugar

The Move: Say something minimizing in a soft voice (“You’re overthinking it, babe”), then act confused when you’re upset.

Real life: They joke about something that stung, then tell you you’re “too sensitive” if you react.

Why it hurts: You start doubting your feelings instead of trusting them — and that’s control.

Step 3 — Love-bomb, Then Fade

The Move: Shower you with attention and validation until you’re attached, then slowly ghost.

Real life: Intense texts and plans for a week, then flakiness for a month.

Why it hurts: You get addicted to the highs; when they stop, it feels like withdrawal.

Step 4 — Borrow, Borrow, Then Vanish

The Move: Borrow favors, money, ideas, attention — never reciprocate reliably.

Real life: Uses your notes, your connections, your clothes, then says “I forgot” when it’s their turn.

Why it hurts: Friendship becomes a transaction where you’re always the supplier.

Step 5 — Triangulate and Gossip

The Move: Tell a third party “just asking” about your business or seed rumors under the guise of concern.

Real life: You hear “someone said…” after they innocently asked about the same thing.

Why it hurts: Trust breaks because you don’t know what’s private anymore.

Step 6 — Passive-Aggressive Blows

The Move: Use “jokes,” sighs, silent treatment to punish you without owning it.

Real life: “Fine, whatever,” and then a week of coldness until you apologize.

Why it hurts: You end up apologizing for things you didn’t do because it calms them down.

Step 7 — Keep Receipts (Emotional Leverage)

The Move: Collect moments to use later — a mistake you made, something you said in confidence.

Real life: Weeks later they bring up your one bad day to prove a point or “win” an argument.

Why it hurts: Vulnerability becomes ammunition; you stop being honest.

STORY TIME

Alright, children, settle down for a lil story time. Ok, I’m going to tell you about one of these (fake) friends I have (well it’s complicated). And she’s probably one of the most DANGEROUS types of Fake Friends. For all Fake Friend Wannabes, she’s gonna be your idol. Ok, so I don’t like talking bad about people but like, if she talks bad about me, I’m gonna talk about her (anonymously duh but like still. I gotta make people aware because I’d rather people not have fake friends and learn to avoid them the way I avoid Labubus).

OK SO BASICALLY

I’ve got this one friend, we’re gonna call her A. When I first met her? She was literally the SWEETEST girl I’ve ever met. Literal angel energy. We became “besties” through… well, circumstances that would normally make two girls mortal enemies, but not with us! 💀 Instant besties, and it was amazingggg!!!

Then I made… a few enemies. (Okay, no, not full-on enemies. Just people who did me wrong. You get it.) And me and A? Lowkey psychotic when we talked about them. Like, if our chats got leaked, the next day we’d be in jail. But be honest — wouldn’t that happen to any set of besties whose chats got leaked?!? like be so for real!

Then I made more friends (I know, shocking, right?). And what does A do? Suddenly she’s besties with them too. Like, GURL. STAWP. PLEASE. And I know, I know, I’m overreacting. Maybe a little. But can you blame me??

Things escalated when I got closer to someone, let’s call her S, and she sends me a screenshot of texts between her and A — apparently A was blowing something WAYYYY out of proportion. Cue the little argument. Cue me blocking her (excessive? yes. Guilty? also yes. But to be fair, she’s blocked me multiple times for literally no reason). And then A goes and tells S, “Oh my god, Aaradhyaa is being such an idiot. She did…” I don’t even know. And I’m sitting there like…

And then I unblock her but when I don’t ask her about this because I just wanted to know what she was planning to do. (I know, main character moments, I pinkie promise I’m not this self-absorbed usually). But she’s just one of those people who make others want to be best friends with them. And somehow, I forgot my original plan. Just like that… back to besties. Lowkey became fight -> block or ghost -> unblock -> back to normal. and repeat. This reminded me of one of those toxic relationship cycles that they showed us in Health Class last year. y’know this thing?:

but anyways, yeah. Oh wait, no, i need to circle back to what I was saying in the beginning. Right, so I made kinda-sorta-not-really-enemies and we would talk trash about them (I PROMISE IM NOT A BAD PERSON! IM A HUMAN OK?!) and then she would go and act like BESTIES with them LIKE GURL. HUH!? AND SHE GOES AROUND TELLING PEOPLE THINGS I TOLD HER WHILE TRUSTING HER LIKE GURL C’MON. (this is what I mean by keeping receipts guys. )

Honestly… that’s the thing about A. She’s horrible, manipulative, chaotic, maddening… and yet somehow amazing. She’s the friend you can’t quit, the one who makes you laugh, the one who drives you insane, the one you forget your plan with because her energy is just… addictive. A horrible fake friend? Absolutely. An unforgettable one? 100%. And Imma be completely honest with you, I’m still friends with her.

SO KIDS. DO NOT GET FAKE FRIENDS. THEY CAN BE VERY HARD TO QUIT.

So yeah… that’s A. The sweetest, maddening, most chaotic friend you’ll ever meet. She’s a master of charm, chaos, and lowkey sabotage. And honestly? I wouldn’t trade the drama for anything — because if there’s one thing she’s taught me in our time as besties, it’s that fake friends aren’t always obvious. Sometimes they’re the sweetest people in the room… until you realize the sweetest people can also be the trickiest. There’s a reason people say sugar is poison, right?

Moral of the story? Pay attention. Trust cautiously. And maybe, just maybe… keep your receipts.

And there you have it — the ultimate guide to being an awesome fake friend. Smile, pretend to care, trash-talk in secret, love-bomb like a pro, ghost and unblock on a schedule, and always keep your receipts handy. Follow these steps faithfully, and you’ll master charm, chaos, and subtle sabotage all at once.

Or… you could just read this, spot these behaviors in others, and save yourself the headache. Either way, congratulations. You now know the subtle art of fake friendship.

XOXO
Aaradhyaa